I am so thankful everyday for my kids and what they have brought to my life. I am so blessed that my children chose me as their mother and that I have a husband who picks up where I fall. Together we would move mountains, quite literally to make sure our children have the best life that they can. Like any parent! I look at my little guy and think he has no idea that he has some health obstacles that other children do not face, however I know he suffers tremendously at times. My sole mission in life other than to help guide my children through the puzzle of life is to help other parents dealing with the same issues which we face! One would think that we would 100% have his conditions cleared up and are just sailing through the maze of allergies. Well for the most part we do, until his allergies decide to change or his body decides to add another sensitivity into the mix.
After I posted the last blog, my son broke out in eczema which is covering about 70% of his little body in sores and scab, his eyes are swollen, and he has a horrible dry cough at night... For some reason this just knocks me down and brings everything back into perspective, it makes me a mom again. There is nothing more painful than watching your child suffer and struggle to figure out what caused it! The week before that he ended up in the ER with an asthma attack.... he has never battled with this reaction! This blog may seem all over the place this week but I am just going to write too you moms who I know understand my situation and how daunting it can feel.... because I am right back in the middle of it again.
For the past 8 months my son had been completely clear of ALL reactions, I had it all figured out and knew what to avoid in his diet and triggers. Life has thrown us a curve ball! I just wish it was me that could take his reactions for him... Someone reminded me this week that obstacles are brought as lessons, as I like to say there is always a silver lining.... Let’s find that!
My niece was born with a cleft palate without the hair lip and went unnoticed until she was over 6 months old; she wasn’t gaining weight and cried all the time... So painful for them when she was FINALLY diagnosed and had to have reconstructive surgery on the roof of her mouth prior to her first birthday, and continually has to have tubes put in her ears as well (she is know 8). I am telling you this because my brother saw my little mans eczema when he was about a year old (wasn’t the worst his condition got to) for the first time and was devastated! He made a comment about how painful it is for him to see him like that... He told me my nieces condition was surgically fixed my sons could not be, that this maybe something he deals with for the rest of his life... that was a big breaking point for me. To hear someone else put into words how I felt every time I looked at him scratching and crying as a baby... it hurt beyond words! Why does he have to go through this I always wondered! Why my son....
One of the worst days of my life was just prior to my son’s second birthday, I was due with our 2nd child in 2 weeks and had watched my son cry and scratch for 2 days straight. He wouldn’t eat, barely drank anything, and was suffering beyond words! He had black circles under his eyes, he had constant open sores on very red swollen big toe that wouldn’t heal, and his body was COVERED in eczema (open sores) from his cheeks to his toes... I didn’t know what to do, but knew that I had to do something, anything! I booked him in with a Holistic dietician I found through our local health food store, she had him in within a day and within a week of following her recommendations his condition had improved by about 90%. That was the turning point for his condition and our awareness! Always remember you are the only advocate your child has, trust your gut! I have always been very luck with my husband as he has always been very supportive of whatever I want to try with regards to our children’s health. Although it still has wreaked havoc on our relationship, there is nothing worse for a parent than watching your child struggle with any health condition. It is painful for all involved! This is especially painful for men as they need to fix problems and there when there is NOTHING they can do to make it better now.... It eats them up!
When dealing with our son, we have always tried to brush his allergies off as a very casual thing so that he doesn’t feel different from other children! I want him to grow up with a strong sense of self and confidence. He now knows when something makes him feel off or not right, he knows that he can’t tolerate wheat, sugar, most skin products; he knows that these things make him feel yucky. He tells me when he needs his milk thistle and cherry juice or his zango juice. I trust what he is telling me when he brings me these things, that his body needs this to keep him balanced. Your children are more in tune with how they feel and what they need than you are, remember to honour them and listen... they may be a small little being, but they are still a person who needs nurturing.
When my son has a reaction like he is going through right now, he get mischievous, and aggressive, he name calls, and doesn’t act himself; can you blame him! If you have ever had hives, think of how you just wanted to jump out of your skin, now add on top of that stomach upset, as it usually affects their intestinal tract, their livers, and thus the intestinal tract causing neurological reactions. Now how would you react!!! I know I would feel the exact same way. I would want someone to just hold me and tell me it is all going to be okay, WE are going to get through this TOGETHER. That we have an understanding as moms that we are suffering as well watching these little beings whom our only job is to protect them go through something which is so excruciating. Please be kind to yourself; understand that you are suffering as well and accept that, it is okay... they are an extension of you!
With the past few weeks being such a struggle the one thing that I have pulled out of it is a guideline for what happens when a reaction of any kind happens;
1) Love them and be accepting of their actions and condition
2) Treat the sypmtoms – get the itching down or slow inflammation in the chest by using whatever you have to to stop it from getting worse!
3) STAY CALM, KEEP THEM CALM (I use Nervoheel on him and I, available at local health food stores)
4) Treat the lingering effects – the rash, etc
5) Keep them calm throughout the day, play quiet games, listen to music, honour them if they just want to veg out in front of a movie, etc ~ within reason of course... ha ha)
6) Let them heal, physically and emotionally
7) Look back through your journals, try to figure out what changed in their routines or diet
a. Make a list of all the changes
b. Eliminate anything you think may have been the trigger for a minimum of 6 weeks
c. Book an appointment with your Naturopath or therapist
8) Nurse the underlying health links, the intestinal tract, liver, etc
9) Love them and be accepting of their actions (yes I am repeating this)
10) Love you and take the time to cry.... it sucks more than people or you may even realize! Take the time to step away even for 10 minutes to react to what is going on, process it and move on to make the changes necessary for your little people.
11) Please remember not to identify your child as the illness they have but identify them as the beautiful person they are!
The thing I am taking from our episode the past two weeks is that we are all human, that we are constantly evolving. That we need to take the tender moments to love ourselves as mothers and fall apart when we need to. I am so blessed to have some AMAZING women in my life, who don’t pick me up when I have fallen down but stand next to me while I find the strength to pick myself up! They are my shoulder to cry on, and the ear to listen for me to heal myself from the pain my child is suffering through and to be the strength for my family to get through this one, and educate ourselves further to avoid another flare-up. My pillars of strength support me and accept me for who I am, their being in my life gives me the love that I need to pass on to my children and husband when I have none left to give. They are the reason that I am able to function through this crappy situation, the crap it can cause on your marriage and push through to the point where I even have enough strength to and passion to hopefully help you be the strongest best mother and wife you can be.
My son is blessed with wonderful little friends who accept him for who he is and love him scabs and all. They have never once asked why his legs are covered in sores, why he wears glasses or why he can’t eat the things they can eat... at 3 ½ when they are all noticing the differences in each other! My son has an amazing ability to accept people for who they are and not notice the physical differences in others. That is a gift that I wish all could have, not judging the book by its cover but recognizing integrity!
The silver lining in having a child with health issues is it opens your eyes to the fact that there are so many of us that deal with these and different circumstance, that the Modern Child is just this but sensitive being that need to be nurtured. What is the stat for a healthy, typical developing child.... well someone recently told me, ZERO! Moms NOW is your time to shine, you have the strength within you to be the advocate for your Childs health, to nurture your little ones, your partner and yourself! Be the voice these children need and don’t just settle for rub this on your little ones skin and the rash will go away, or use the ventalin 4 times a day, or let’s hope they grow out of it. You are the only one who can bring your child back to the roots of pure health.... Please listen to them, as small as they maybe... they will give you the signs to know what they need. Please please please, allow yourselves to feel angry, hurt, and sad when you are alone... this will take you another step closer to helping your child find peace with their health and acceptance of what needs to be done, and open your eyes to what they need to get healthy and function at their highest potential.
I am here to be a pillar of strength for you, not to help you up but to stand next to and help you find the strength within you to help your children and your partner.
My name is Renee, I am a mother of a child with multiple food sensitivities, environmental triggers, and eczema, and I would like to support you in your role as a mom of a Modish Monkey (Today’s Modern Child)!
Thank you to my Pillars of Strength!
