Forgiveness 2013

Forgiveness

Empathy

Judgment

I watched an amazing documentary last night on Forgiveness and empathy.  This is something I have NEVER mastered.  I spent my life hardening my heart, holding all my hate, hurt, abandonment, and pain in my stomach. I have been finishing my case studies for my course the past few months, the holistic approach to health deals with the mind-body-spirit connection.  I have been for the past few months delving into other peoples health and lifestyle, I have felt so much pain and sadness from not what my clients have told me but from what their health tells me.  I have for the past week been doing one on myself, as the third person, for I can’t ask my clients to make changes I am not willing to make.  I want to be able to COMPLETELY walk the talk.  When doing my own case study, I saw how much emotional baggage I was carrying and wow, talk about a complete slap in the face. Lol.  I have always been aware that even I have issues, big ones, but when you look at them in relation to your own health, holy moly it is profound.  So now it is my turn to go on an emotional adventure, learning to deal with my own ghosts, learning to forgive those who I have felt have wronged me. The more layers you peel back of that onion the more your eyes water, well my gut and heart are the same way, only I have guarded that papery cover my entire life, not allowing ANYONE to peel it away. I don’t want to cry, and I definitely don’t want others seeing that.

My story is a pretty crazy one, one I will one day share in hopes it will help others.  Right now, I am just trying to find peace with it. Finding peace with the realization that those who hurt me deepest, and destroyed my childhood will probably never ask for my forgiveness, and that is okay.  I am inspired by the movie I watched last night that even the deepest more unforgivable deeds can be forgiven, never forgotten but changed into bringing positive to the world.  Can you imagine a society where we all accepted each other’s differences, religions, lifestyles and wait for it… RESPECTED them.  A world were instead of running overseas to convert others to the true God, or creating wars over whose God is right, or children growing up learning that the neighbors children believe something different so lets pray for them.  How about turn this into a world where we do things for the love of others with no ulterior motives.  A world where we all love each other as we do our brothers, a world were we work together for the good of society, learning and appreciating our differences.  COULD YOU IMAGINE! Yes, it does sound like a utopian dream, it is a dream, which could be a reality if we all took small steps to doing it.  Hate and anger burrow, they fester, they become toxic. Is it alright that we live in a society where lost souls who were obviously never loved the way they needed to be or deserved to be walk into elementary schools and take the lives of beautiful souls just starting their journey.  Is it okay, that we support wars in other countries over mother earths most robbed resource… OIL. Is it okay that today’s society is so obsessed and completely controlled by consumerism and money… we have given life to a non-material thing. What happened to love, community, and showing todays children and ourselves the most important things in life, showing them how to love, respect, forgive.  Teaching our children that being different is perfect, accepting that maybe our children are here to teach us to change our ways.  Teaching us through their illnesses and struggles that maybe we need to find a new way to communicate, live and teach them.  My heart is sad and hard because of the chaos of not only what my childhood entailed but also that no one cares today.  Have you looked in the eyes of those you pass during your day and see the sadness, the emptiness, and the loneliness?  Have you ever answered truthfully when someone asks how you are, or do you just give the courteous I am great.  We can’t even be truthful with ourselves. I have hidden behind a mask for years, and have hurt a lot of people because of it.  I have never let anyone get to close to my heart; they may hurt or leave me.  Well I was right, they probably will hurt me, and they may even leave me.  But that is okay, it is okay because they have brought something very important into my life.  Every thing is a lesson. 

See we all have a story, we all have people in our past that have wronged us and we have wronged them.  We all have people we would love to hear ask for our forgiveness, bringing so much closure and release to hurts we bury so deep.  I would love to hear my deceased grandparents ask my forgiveness, but for obvious reasons I never will or the extended family that emotionally abandoned us, and for that I work daily on forgiving them.  For the hurts we bury only hurt us more deeply as time goes on, it hurts our health, hardens our hearts and creates chaos in this already chaotic life.  What does this have to do with food and health again you ask, well as powerful and healing as the amazing foods God, the universe, mother nature, higher power, whoever that is for you has given us, it can only do so much.  My dad always told me God gave you legs and a brain, use them.  Well he was so right, God did give me legs, a voice, a brain, and also a heart and digestive system which I don’t think he intended for me to fill up with toxic emotions, and pains. Our higher power (I call him God so lets go with that) spoke most about the power of love, non-judgement, he taught us empathy.  No matter what religion you are or were brought up with you were taught about the power of forgiveness. The power of forgiveness and empathy is more powerful than medicine, more powerful than food, it is the one thing you are accountable for, it is taking your healing, mind body and spirit into your own hands. And using the things naturally provided for you, food, forgiveness, empathy, herb, vitamins, physical activity, meditation/devotion, and becoming the whole, healthy being that you were meant be, living the life you were put here to live, and finding purpose through your story.  Healing mind body and spirit in the name of God, Buddha, Allah, Universe… your higher power. 

I am going to spend 2013 learning forgiveness, empathy, and true compassion.  I have found my word for this year, it is going to take a lot of personal work, but I can’t wait to rid my body of emotional toxins, teaching my children through example of love, what self-love looks like, helping them to learn a big lesson I truly didn’t understand until now.  Opening my heart to letting go of old relationships I have held in my heart, healing the ones I have strained and hurt (there are quite a few), and allowing those who have hurt me the forgiveness to consciously heal both of our hearts.  I challenge you the next time I ask you how you are today to peel that onion layer and allow me to cry with you if you need to, to find strength in my love, and to tell me how you TRULY are, for why do we ask unless we truly want to know.  Lets practice true compassion and empathy, emotionally feeling our way together to forgiveness, big or small.  Sending you all love, light (for all my religious family and friends, by this I mean lets all shine the light of God) and compassion.  We may speak different languages (religiously and spiritually) but lets unite in the love of a higher power and put aside our judgment’s to help heal our generation’s pain, chaos and shine as an example of those to come.  Much Love.